DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD awesome sex with a woman I met on Tinder. We agreed to another date but now she has called the whole thing off and I’ve no idea why.
I am 36 and she is 33. She is stunning looking — really hot. We met in a bar and she was up for drinking wine and cocktails all night.
Feeling the electric chemistry between us, I ended up breaking my first-date golden rule by going back to her place. We had sex loads of times and she came every time.
She was definitely into me. The texts that followed were full of compliments — and filthy — and begging me to see her.
I was a bit wary of things moving too fast but ended up going to hers again two days later.
I cooked her a great meal and we settled down to watch a film.
I met a great woman on Tinder and even broke my ‘no sex on the first date’ rule[/caption]
We had sex together a couple more times with her reaching orgasm each time.
She had agreed to another date by the time I left her flat that night. But, the next morning, I received a text from her saying she had changed her mind and her feelings and she called things off. I couldn’t believe it.
I really thought we had something special.
I can only think either she received some bad advice from a friend, or her past has crept into this and she has sabotaged something potentially perfect because she’s comparing me with an ex.
After agreeing to another date she’s dumped me over text and I have no idea what I did wrong[/caption]
I messaged her trying to explain how much I like her and that things were moving so fast it had scared me too, but I have heard nothing back. What on earth has happened with her?
We shared chemistry, we were definitely matched sexually, and really clicked. I am at a loss to explain how this has panned out.
What went wrong?
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DEIDRE SAYS: Being rejected is always a painful experience. Maybe a friend has advised that any guy going for sex on the first date isn’t to be trusted.
I think the most likely explanation is she’s had one or more bad previous relationships which have left her wounded and wary. It could be the fact she is feeling drawn to you that has scared her and made her pull back.
I’m a little bit sceptical of her reaching orgasm every time you had sex from the very first time – I think there may have been some faking going on – but that doesn’t mean you didn’t have a real buzz between you.
All you can do it give her a week or two then message her again saying you are genuinely keen and willing to take things more slowly. If she doesn’t respond or says no, then at least you’ll know where you stand.
If what you want is a serious relationship, though, my e-leaflet Finding The Love Of Your Life has ideas beyond Tinder.
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