DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER being sexually abused by her older brother as a child, my wife kept it secret for years.
We are both 37 and have been married for 12 years, with four wonderful kids.
When she told me about being abused, I wanted to help her, but now she’s pushing me away[/caption]
Our sex life tailed off after our fourth child was born and I could see why sex wasn’t her top priority.
Her mum died suddenly and it hit her hard. I tried to support her and one night she told me about the abuse.
She said now her mother was no longer here, she wanted the truth to come out.
She had counselling and told the police. Her brother has been arrested, which has helped, but she is still distant with me. Will I ever get back the girl I fell in love with?
POPULAR DEAR DEIDRE PROBLEMS
DEIDRE SAYS: You have been patient but must give her more time. If her brother has only just been arrested, she still has a major challenge ahead.
You can both find understanding through NAPAC, the National Association for People Abused in Childhood (napac.org.uk, 0808 801 0331).
Make sure life at home isn’t all about the sad past. Organise fun days out and a babysitter so you can have nights out as a couple.
READ TODAY’S DEAR DEIDRE My partner treats my house as his own – in every way but helping with bills
READ DEIDRE’S PHOTO CASEBOOK Louisa thinks her dad’s new girlfriend is using him for his money
Get in touch with Deidre today
Got a problem? Send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org. Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
Follow me on Twitter @deardeidre.