DEAR DEIDRE: I INVITED my secret lover back to my house for sex behind my husband’s back. I know it was wrong but I enjoyed every minute of it.
I have been married for 17 years and have a 15-year-old daughter. I am 39, my husband is 38.
We don’t have sex because he keeps pushing me away. I tried to talk to him about it but it didn’t make any difference.
I was feeling unwanted and lonely and joined a dating app last year. It was just for attention but I met a man through the app and we were chatting for months.
He gave me lots of attention and made me feel wanted. After a few weeks getting to know each other, we arranged to meet. He is 42.
He picked me up and we went for a few drinks at a quiet pub.
I don’t know why my husband pushed me away, but it’s made me so sexually frustrated[/caption]
When we got back to his car, he started kissing me. Soon we were having sex on the back seat.
We started meeting regularly after that. I would tell my husband that I was going out with friends and he never questioned me.
My lover had the afternoon off work two weeks ago.
I told him to come round to our house and we were all over each other as soon as the door was shut.
When my lover came to my house we had amazing sex, but then he told me he’d met someone else[/caption]
We went upstairs and had sex on the bed I share with my husband. I knew he wouldn’t be home until later in the evening, as he was going to drinks after work.
My lover said he would arrange something special for Valentine’s Day but then last week he phoned and cancelled our date.
He told me he had met someone else on the dating app and was seeing her that night.
I told him he didn’t need me now he had someone else but he said he still wanted to see me. I was so upset.
That night, my husband’s best friend happened to come round but my husband was still out. His mate could see that I had been crying and he put his arms round me.
One thing led to another and we had sex. He says he wants to see me again but it would be just for the sex.
IF you have a flourishing romance, Valentine’s Day is like a shared birthday.
But if your relationship is in the doldrums, it can be a sad reminder of disappointment.
My Happy Valentine’s Day e-leaflet says how to make it fun.
Email me for a copy.
DEIDRE SAYS: Both these men are taking advantage of you feeling unwanted by your husband but you know they’re not the answer.
In fact, they’re eating even further into your self-esteem.
Finish with both of them right now. Then you can concentrate on improving your marriage.
POPULAR DEAR DEIDRE PROBLEMS
That’s what would make you really happy and be best for your daughter who would then have happy, settled parents.
Ask your husband why he has been pushing you away and listen to what he says. Tell him that you miss having sex and that you will not be put off sorting that out.
My e-leaflet on Saving Your Sex Life will help you both see how to get that back on track.
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