I’m sick of being my long-term married lover’s secret — shall I start fresh with my hot younger girlfriend?


DEAR DEIDRE: I AM having fantastic, hot sex with my new younger girlfriend – but should I stay “faithful” to my long-term married lover?

A new woman started working in my office a couple of months ago. She is 30, a single mum, fun, beautiful and for some reason she really likes me.


I’ve been having a great time with a hot younger woman, but I’m not sure if I should stay ‘faithful’ to my long-term married lover[/caption]

We went for a drink and it went so well we ended up back at mine and had amazing sex.

Her son was with his dad so she stayed all night. We’ve carried on having sex when he’s with his dad, which is a couple of nights most weeks.

She has said she wants to be my girlfriend and I know it would mean I could have everything I am missing in my life.

We could be open and do stuff as a couple, and I wouldn’t need to be lonely any longer.


It would be great to make it official with my new lover – we’d be able to do things as a couple and not have to hide[/caption]

I am 42 and my long-term lover is the same age. We knew one another from way back and our affair began within months of her wedding seven years ago.

She has two children. She isn’t happy with her husband and says she loves me — and that one day we will be together. But it never happens.

I wake up alone every morning and spend evenings waiting for a text to say she can get away to meet me.

The one thing holding me back from getting together openly with the new girl is her having a child.


Right now, all I do is wait by the phone in the hopes my married lover makes time to see me[/caption]

My own kids are 20 and 21 and I am not sure I want to be doing parenting again at my time of life.

She is a doting mum and doing things with her son is obviously really important to her. I also worry that she may want more children in the future.

I do still love my other lover and it would break her heart if I ended it.

But the chance of a proper relationship is real and may not come my way again. I can’t decide.


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Email problems@deardeidre.org or private message me on my Dear Deidre Facebook.

DEIDRE SAYS: Being with your new girlfriend is highlighting all that is wrong with your other love affair.

You have waited patiently but your lover is not acting on her promises of a future together.

Meanwhile, she has her cake and eats it while you are there waiting and hoping alone.

However, even if your new girlfriend seems to be offering you what is missing from your life, that does not necessarily make her the right choice.

If you don’t care enough for her to cope with life around a little boy now and possibly a baby in the future, it may well be that neither woman is right for you.

Other lives are in play here. I would suggest you stop seeing both women for at least a month while you clear your mind and decide what’s right for your future.

It could be a completely fresh start on the relationship front.

NEXT IN TODAY’S DEAR DEIDRE Ever since I had my second baby my sex drive has been non-existent and now it’s ruining my marriage

READ DEIDRE’S PHOTO CASEBOOK April worries Gareth will lose interest when he finds out she has a daughter

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