DEAR DEIDRE: IT seems like I’m for ever bailing out my mate. He never has any money.
I’m a guy of 26 and he is 27. It’s like I am expected to pay for everything when we go out – drinks, takeaways, bus fares, cinema tickets. I waste hundreds of pounds.
He’s a nice guy and we laugh, joke and generally have fun – but the money issue annoys me. I feel like I’m being taken for a ride.
I don’t have any other mates and am afraid I’ll be lonely if I cut ties with him. But is he just using me?
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DEIDRE SAYS: It sounds as if he genuinely likes you as a friend but you have both allowed a pattern to develop in which you bank-roll everything you do together. Before you go out next time, say you have realised you can’t afford to keep spending at the same rate so will have to go halves in future.
Only do what you can both afford to pay for. Wait for him to buy his round and so on. If that means you can’t go out so much, go round to each others’ homes and watch a film.
My e-leaflet on Widening Your Social Life can help you make fresh friends, too.
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