DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE had sex with more than 20 guys since the beginning of the year.
That sounds awful, although it is all because my boyfriend cheated on me.
I’m 26 and work behind the bar in a lap-dancing club. I love my job. It’s a fun place to work and I meet some amazing people.
One night a guy got chatting to me. It was a week after I had discovered my boyfriend had been cheating — I found the evidence on his phone.
This guy seemed really nice. He told me he was 30 and was a drug rep, and that he had come to the club alone.
It wasn’t really his scene and he preferred to talk to me.
He invited me for a drink after my shift and I went back to his hotel.
As soon as he was inside the door he kissed me and I responded. I was furious with my boyfriend and it was great to have someone really want me. We had wild, passionate sex.
I didn’t see him again but two nights later I met another guy and we had sex in his car. And so it has continued, with me having multiple flings. I even had sex with two guys in one night.
But I’m still miserable about things with my boyfriend, who is 29. Our first three years together were amazing.
Then I found out he had been cheating after he asked me to take his phone to a repair shop to have a new screen fitted.
I checked his messages and saw he had been sending explicit pictures to another girl.
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He eventually admitted it, saying the girl had been threatening to tell me anyway, so he thought he should come clean. He said their fling was over and we should try to sort out our relationship.
But our sex life is rubbish anyway and he has hardly come near me since all this upset. I feel so rejected and hurt.
I thought sex with other men would even the score, but I feel worse. We are meant to be getting married, yet I’m becoming one of those serial cheats you read about.
Popular Dear Deidre problems
DEIDRE SAYS: You know tit-for-tat cheating is not the way forward. Your boyfriend may be unlikely to find out but you are jeopardising your sexual health and your personal safety too.
It may feel good to be wanted but it is so short-lived. No-strings, dead-end sex is not really your style, is it?
You were enjoying the rewards of a loving, long-term relationship until your boyfriend strayed, so why not face the problem rather than run away from it?
Make a pact with yourself that your last fling really was your last and take time off work to spend with your boyfriend. Talk together about how you can get your relationship back on track. My e-leaflet Can’t Be Faithful will help you too.
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