DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN I went into my relationship I knew my partner’s kids were going to take priority for some years to come, but I wish I could come first just occasionally.
We have been together for nearly ten years. He has three grown-up sons and two gorgeous grandkids. I couldn’t have children of my own but I cherish his. We are both in our mid-fifties.
He goes to the gym, is a scout leader and has his mates over one night when I lay on food and beer.
His kids still come for meals at the weekend, and we have his parents all day Sunday. So it’s all about him and his. He’ll never do anything with me and suggests I go out alone with girlfriends. I understand we all need our own interests but he refuses to change his rigid routines.
He is a good man, he’s not a drinker or womaniser, but I would love us to have some leisure time together.
Popular Dear Deidre problems
DEIDRE SAYS: He is a man of routines and you have more than fitted round his while he hasn’t made any changes for your sake.
Say you feel rejected. Then move on to the positive. Come up with specific plans he could reasonably be expected to enjoy. My e-leaflet on Standing Up For Yourself may help.
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