A MUM has sparked a debate after she revealed how she told another mum off for not putting her “kids first”.
Taking to parenting forum Mumsnet, the woman said that she had spoken to another mum who claimed she didn’t “have any money to buy her kids some new school shoes”.
Getty – Contributor The mum had become riled after hearing what the other woman’s money went on
But, the poster became riled after the fellow mum divulged that one of her family members “was on holiday and was getting her some cigarettes and alcohol” that she was paying for.
Taking to the forum, the angered woman wrote: “Yesterday I was meeting with some friends one of which I’m not as close with but she always tags along which is fine.
“We got onto the subject and she said how she doesn’t have any money to buy her kids some new school shoes.
“Before that topic had came up she was saying how a family member was on holiday and was getting her some cigarettes and alcohol and it was really cheap. (She was paying for it)
Getty – Contributor While some claimed the woman had been ‘rude’ to say anything, others said she was in the right
“Usually I bite my tongue but she just p***** me off.
“I said to her how about maybe she should stop drinking and smoking and buy her kid the new school shoes they need.
“She only has two kids. She was a bit gobsmacked.
“Didn’t really say much just made up an excuse and left.
“Am I the only one bothered by the fact that people not putting their kids first and complain about the kids not having any nice clothes etc when they spend a majority of their money on stuff they don’t really need?”
Needless to say, many other parents were quick to wade into the debate – and many blasted the poster as “rude” but that “she had a point”.
One user wrote: “I don’t think kids should always come first but I do think shoes that fit come before cigs and alcohol.
“You were rude but right”
Getty – Contributor The mum had said she couldn’t afford school shoes
Another added: “Urgh, I think I’m in the midst of a sea change on this one.
“Normally, I’d be saying that you shouldn’t judge but, no, f***it.
“If someone is serving their desire for fags and booze before their children’s need for shoes and are stupid enough to whine about it in front of others then I think yeah, I’d have struggled not to point that out too.”
But others thought the woman was completely in the right.
One such user said: “Aren’t you wonderful OP! You sound like you want a pat on the back.
“I really don’t know anybody who puts fags and booze before their children’s welfare irl [in real life].”
Another wrote: “YANBU [you are not being unreasonable] people’s priorities are different but providing your kids with food, clothes and shoes should come top of the list for any parent. Buying booze and fags while your kids go without is incredibly selfish.
A third added: “I definitely would have judged her! Cigarettes and alcohol are luxuries and if she can’t afford basics then I don’t think it’s unreasonable to point that out to her.”
What do you think?
Dream Your Way To A Better Life And Say Goodnight To Stress With Our Tips
RESITTING your GCSE maths? On a date with Chris Hemsworth? Naked in the supermarket for the fifth time this week?
It’s easy to laugh off our dreams as nothing more than random imaginings we have no control over, yet new research suggests dreaming is much more important to our mental and physical health than previously thought.
Alamy Dreams are responsible for many of the greatest inventions of mankind – Google was dreamed up by Larry Page whilst he was sleeping
Getty Images Follow our tips to get a better night’s sleep and dream big
One study from the American Academy of Neurology showed those who have shorter dream-stage sleep may be at greater risk of developing dementia, while research by the University of Arizona suggests it can contribute to illnesses such as depression.
“Dreaming is a skill, and it’s possible to learn to do it more constructively,” says bestselling author and dream expert Charlie Morley.
“Everyone can learn techniques to dream better, which will help prepare your mind and body to tackle insomnia and stress and can lead to improved fitness.” Here’s how…
Get your eight hours
Alamy There are actually people who like dreaming so much that they never want to wake up
During sleep, the brain cycles through four stages every 90 minutes or so. Most of the first cycle is spent in stage four – the deep, slow-wave stage when the body repairs itself. But with each cycle that follows, more and more time is spent in the REM (rapid eye movement) stage, when dreams occur and the brain replenishes chemicals essential for remembering and problem-solving.
So if you only kip for five hours, you’ll get the physical benefits of stage-four sleep, but not the psychological renewal of REM, Charlie explains.
“That’s why learning a new skill and concentrating become harder the less sleep you get,” he adds. Eight hours is optimal to ensure you spend enough time in the REM stage.
Be a dream boss
Alamy Some people have learned to assume control of their dreams and do amazing things like flying
Taking charge of our dreams isn’t just the stuff of Hollywood film Inception. Lucid dreaming, when we’re aware we’re having a dream, is scientifically recognised, with about 20% of us thought to experience it at least once a month.
In this state, the person “can guide the dream in a particular way, such as facing a fear”, says lucid dream expert Dr Clare Johnson. Charlie adds: “Athletes are experimenting with lucid dreaming, because practising physical moves in your sleep creates neural pathways that allow you to perform them better awake.”
But how do you have a lucid dream? First, you have to remember your regular ones. “Before you fall asleep, set the intention by telling yourself: ‘I will remember my dreams,’ over and over,” says Charlie.
When you wake up, write them down. “You’ll start to see patterns that will help you realise you’re in a dream.”
One in seven adults regularly struggle to get to sleep and stay asleep, which is when lucid dreaming could help, too.
Alamy Get a good night’s sleep so you don’t drain your energy throughout the day
“Those who suffer from insomnia are often anxious about the process of trying to get to sleep,” says Charlie.
“But giving sufferers something else to focus on, such as remembering their dreams, creates a diversion in the brain that puts that anxiety out of the picture.
Plus, insomniacs might believe they’ve been awake all night, but if they’ve had a lucid dream they know they haven’t, and this also relieves pressure on them.”
Three steps to lucid dreaming
Steer clear of social media “When you wake up, make your first thoughts about remembering dreams, rather than checking Facebook,” says Charlie. Don’t share your dream diary “You might censor your dreams inadvertently if you’re worrying about being judged for them,” says Charlie. Power nap During a 20-minute snooze, we go into “REM rebound” – a light sleep filled with vivid dreams, says Clare. “It’s a magic state for would-be lucid dreamers.” Ditch the dictionaries
Despite the many books claiming to decode messages in dreams, many experts say there are no universal symbols.
A baby doesn’t necessarily signal a new beginning, while spiders aren’t always a warning of manipulation or scheming.
Getty – Contributor The three most widely reported emotions felt during dreaming are anger, sadness and fear
“Say two people dream about a cat,” explains Charlie. “If one of them was bitten by a cat as a child while the other likes watching cat videos on YouTube, it could represent childhood trauma for one and happiness for another. To properly interpret your dreams, you have to start seeing links between them and thinking about what the cat, for example, means to you specifically.”
The free Android app uDreamed allows you to record your dreams, analyse them and share them with professionals to gain insight about yourself. “We’re learning that dreams are especially informative about the emotional state of the dreamer,” says the app’s founder Chris Ufere.
Credit: Tetra Images / Alamy Stock Photo Keeping a dream diary can be very beneficial to your creative development
For instance, information from US users highlights the different experiences men and women have in the land of nod. “Women tend to dream about family and romantic interests, while men dream about celebrities, fictional characters and colleagues.
And for reasons unknown, women are more likely to dream about the deceased.” But Chris says women are also more likely to look for ways to resolve issues reflected in their dreams during their waking life by facing fears and resolving conflicts.
1 in 3 of us have argued with a partner after dreaming about them cheating. 1 in 4 men confess to regularly dreaming about an ex. 10% of Brits would describe their dreams as pleasant, according to a survey by the University Of Hertfordshire. Have a ‘mare
Even negative dreams serve a purpose, preparing your mind and body for possible real-life scenarios.
“When you have nightmares, it’s believed you’re rehearsing your fight-or-flight survival mechanisms,” says Charlie.
“For example, the night before you go on holiday you might dream you forgot your passport. That dream helps prevent a negative outcome, because the first thing you do when you wake up is check you have your passport.”
We Compare Make-up Powerhouses Fenty Beauty And Kylie Cosmetics — And Here’s Who Comes Out On Top
CELEBRITY product lines have taken the cosmetics industry by storm in recent years, with each line earning their own share of loyal supporters.
With Rihanna’s inclusive Fenty Beauty set to overtake Kylie Jenner’s make-up empire, we take a look at how they stack up against each other.
Getty Images Rihanna’s cosmetics line Fenty Beauty sent the beauty industry into overload after launching her foundation with 40 shades
Getty Images Kylie Jenner, famously known for her plump pout, initially released lip kits which were an immediate sell-out success Kylie Cosmetics By Kylie Jenner
BACKGROUND: As the youngest of the Kardashian/Jenner brood, new mum Kylie was always determined to prove herself away from her famous family.
After two years of development, the 20 year old launched her make-up range Kylie Cosmetics By Kylie Jenner in November 2015 so her adoring fans could get a slice of Kylie-dom.
Kylie Jenner’s liquid lipsticks have often been criticised by beauty bloggers for its drying formula
Initially the brand only offered lip kits (to immediate sell-out success), but now it has branched out into palettes, brushes, highlighters and concealers.
The biggest launch to date was its Holiday 2017 Collection, which made £13million in one day.
AVAILABILITY: Online only. Shipping to the UK costs £10, or it’s free for orders over £43. But Brits will also pay VAT if the goods are worth more than £15, and custom duty of 2.5% on anything over £135.
SOCIAL STATS: Kylie is the queen of social media, with 102 million Insta followers and 24 million on Twitter. Kylie Cosmetics has over 15 million Insta followers.
Kylie Jenner’s original lip kits, which included a liquid lip and liner, helped kickstart the matte trend
STAR BUY: At £21, the original Lip Kit – a liner and liquid lipstick combo – kick-started the matte lip trend and has changed how we wear lip products.
CONS: If setting your alarm for each launch feels a bit extra, then wait until the postman arrives with a big bill.
That’s when you realise you could have bought a similar Barry M Matte Me Up Lip Kit for £6.99 on the high street.
CELEB FANS: The whole Kardashian/Jenner clan (obvs), Chrissy Teigen, Demi Lovato.
Rex Features Kylie Jenner came under fire for selling a make-up brush set at the baffling price of £270
BLOGGER OPINION: Pretty negative overall – most complain about the lack of stock and drying formula.
VERDICT: If you’re a fan, you probably don’t give two squats what anyone thinks. This is a brand made for Jenner addicts hoping to achieve the same caked-on, Insta-tastic make-up look as their idol.
The quality isn’t bad, the pigments are strong and formulas tend to be good. However, the price is exceptionally high when there are better alternatives on the market.
Kylie Jenner warns of her brand’s ‘harmful’ fake make-up being sold FENTY BEAUTY BT RIHANNA
BACKGROUND: Two years’ development and months of Insta teasing resulted in Rihanna, 29, launching her make-up brand Fenty Beauty By Rihanna – after the singer’s surname – to worldwide hysteria last September.
Claiming to be obsessed with make-up from a young age, she worked with cosmetics giant LVMH, which owns Christian Dior, Benefit and Make Up For Ever, to develop a brand that would cater to everybody. Its USP? Forty foundation shades split equally into Light, Medium, Tan and Deep skin tones.
Fenty Beauty by Rihanna’s Stunna Lip Paint was marketed as a red that compliments every skin tone
AVAILABILITY: Online and in-store at Harvey Nichols.
SOCIAL STATS: Rihanna has 86 million followers on Twitter and 59 million on Instagram. Fenty Beauty has 2.9 million Insta followers.
STAR BUY: Pro Filt’r Soft Matte Longwear Foundation, £26. Thanks to all those shades, it’s one of the most inclusive retail brands out there.
Oh, and Stunna Lip Paint, £19, is a true red that suits everyone.
Pro Filt’r Soft Matte Longwear Foundation made Rihanna’s brand become one of the most inclusive
CONS: If you’re after natural enhancement, this range is not for you. The base coverage is full, the highlight and eyeshadow hues are intense, and the lip colours pack a real punch.
Think glamorous make-up lover, not covering your eye bags to pop to the shops.
CELEB FANS: Naomi Campbell, Karlie Kloss, Gabourey Sidibe, Gabrielle Union.
BLOGGER OPINION: Overwhelmingly positive, especially from non-Caucasian vloggers who celebrate the wide-ranging selection of shades and colours.
Getty Images – Getty Rihanna’s make up line, unlike Kylie Cosmetics, is available in stores across the world
Jazz Up Your Walls And Brighten Any Room With These Retro Plates
YOU may have a cupboard full of boring plates, but the stylish china can actually jazz up a wall.
Whether you’re after something pretty and dainty, or wanting to go bold, these options will brighten up any room.
Plates are a reasonably thrifty way to add colour to your wall
If you choose a plate which doesn’t have a wall hanging fixture, they can easily be picked up in any hardware store, and then hung on a nail.
You can opt for just one plate for a simple bold look, or scatter an assortment of them across the wall.
Different shapes, colours, and textures work really well when spread on a wall, so have some fun with choosing them.
They tend to be much cheaper than fancy artwork, so are a great way to revamp any tired looking room.
Yvonne Ellen Dog Plates, £40 for four designs, John Lewis
John Lewis These pretty plates are fun without being childish
Bloomingville Sooji Palm Plate, £15, Cult Furniture
Cult Furniture This muted pink plate will work well with most wall colours House Plates, £25 for four, Howkapow
howkapow.com Add some ‘home’ into your home Black And White Plate, £3.25, Hema
Herma This black and white option would look great on a bright yellow wall Faye Toogood Inky Plate, £14.95, Rockettstgeorge.co.uk
Rockett St George This chic inky design will quite literally add a ‘splash’ of colour Monkey Plate, £10, West Elm
WestElm This funky design will definitely earn you some compliments Flower Plate, £10, Tch.net
TCH This teal plate will add some texture to your wall Lauren Dickenson Clarke Face Plate, £39, Amara.com
Amara You’ll certainly ‘wow’ your guests with this quirky design Blue And Red Plate, £33, Wedgwood
Wedgwood Wedgwood are known for their elegant designs, and this plate has timeless style
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